i crave silence

Jun. 12th, 2025 06:14 pm
requiems: (estelline ☙ dragonsong)
[personal profile] requiems
Finished my first pass at Estelline's fic! This is particularly good, since I wasn't able to write for seven days and it was driving me a bit stir crazy. I cut about 5k words, so now it's 55k in total. I need to go through it again for final checks but it's in a state where it can soon be posted, which is deliberately timed with me finishing Heavensward; I've been getting Sorbet through the initial push of levelling a first DOW job through 80/90, plus her DOH/DOL and it's going reasonably well, she got lucky with some GC handins so one DOH is at dwarves already, WHM is 77, she should get picto over the weekend which opens up the arksadora dailies and hunts sprint - but back to Estelline, the focus on Sorbet was a result of not having the capability, physically or mentally, to really focus on MSQ, so I took a small break (and played Caravan SandWitch on the side. I liked it! Not sure if I'll ramble about it yet, I might). I'm hoping to do 3.4 and 3.5 over the weekend and have her set up for Stormblood.

Stormblood will be a mixture... I left off with Ai following the liberation of Doma, so I'm going to do the initial Ala Mhigo part with Estelline, get her to Kugane with doing Sirensong, and then swap over to Ai to play out the other half. As I have the opportunity to see the plot hooks back to back without several weeks of Doma in the middle and time for my brain to forget, this feels like a good time to take it.

This week has been very noisy. My upstairs neighbours are having work done on their bathroom, which I found out at 8:15am on Monday when the hammering and drilling and buzzsawing started. Sometimes over my head, because the connecting wall is the wall I sleep against. The workmen have been here every day since through about 2-3pm - except for yesterday, when they were here until 6pm. :') this was Bad as my desire for No Noise Time had to take precedence over sleeping so I got like. An hour and a half of actual sleep before the morning chorus. I did drown it out a bit with a fan today to try to get a little more, but unfortunately that means I have to listen to the fan, which as we already know, is not a real solution... being housebound is awful sometimes.

Thing is I know the size of their bathroom. It's the same as mine. It's miniscule. I'm hoping it's a week and done, I don't want to imagine this next week with groceries PEM, it's bad enough as is. My weekly things, aside from noise, are done after next Tuesday, so I can have a bit of a break and go back to trying to tackle the folate problem and also the GP-do-your-job problem, and maybe, just maybe, have the energy to look at a several thousand page catalogue of what I want for my bathroom renovation, lmao. rip.

Does a wonky thumbs up

Jun. 12th, 2025 05:54 pm
thepasteldyke: pink heart with pink text in two rows, first row reads frejr, second thepasteldyke (Default)
[personal profile] thepasteldyke
Went to my dad's masseur to get tortured again (aka have my nerves moved around) and??? apparently I'm missing some part (idfk) in my hands and that's why I can push my thumbs partially out of their sockets by just moving my thumbs on their own??? Which?? I had no idea but he could feel that there was something missing in them.

I guess that explains my struggles trying to do a regular thumbs up with my left hand, the thumb always pops right on down where it definitely shouldn't be whenever I do it.

(no subject)

Jun. 11th, 2025 09:57 pm
kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (amused)
[personal profile] kradeelav
whew, lotta things happened recently!

* FINISHED THE GUNTERCORRIN DOUJINSHI 8D (technically the official release date is tomorrow but I'm stealth-launching the page to catch any major bugs before the big announcement). i'm also hoping to do a proper post-mortem in a separate post but u can buy this grandpafucking shizz i been working on for the last year! probably the last true "big" fates creative project of mine; still love the characters so very dearly but not "i cannot stop thinking about them for three years straight" hyperfixation levels you know?

* i got laid up briefly this past week by a weird self inflicted case of inflammation when trying out new coffee that disagreed with me (lol). while resting my back, burned through the jakarta method (sobering nonfiction read how the CIA royally fucked up developing nations with a major case study on jakarta) which i had in paperback, as well as trying to finish pleasure activism (ehhh), and thought reform and the psychology of totalitarianism (also solid sobering if academic read on how mao-era interrogation/torture fucks up people, part of my larger "interrogation/censorship" study). DNF'd the diamond eye that a parent's friend gave me (apparently i cannot do "historical fiction" because it wigs me so much how authors insert thoughts into real people that they themselves probably didn't think because said thoughts feel a little uhhhh twitter flavored lol).

* slowly playing through warhammer rogue trader, loving it the more i stick with it ~ for some reason i'm posting more about it on my tumblr inspo sideblog; no essays yet.

* speaking of that, got a long as hell fire emblem tellius meta essay in the works on its symbology (comparing and contrasting branded/laguz/spirit charmer marks, religious marks, heron script.) started off as a fun evening lark and quickly grew into.... uhhh.... something much larger. :D (i had been interested in this topic for ages since i've headcanon'd my self insert as a spirit charmer possessed by a demon so there's a lot of 'how do i connect this with canon in a way that respects the canon' motivation here, as well as a gigantic fondness for the base lore just by itself.)

* there are three art side projects i am REALLY excited about that aren't technically under NDA but i want to wait about a month for when I've made a little more progress before starting to talk/post about here. all of them are collaborations with cool as hell peeps <3 it's the kind of very narrowly defined, very niche collaborations i find i actually like doing (versus a generic anthology SFW call where i'm like 'what's the point of this again' lol.) 
vriddy: Sakura from Wind Breaker pointing at himself (me?)
[personal profile] vriddy
Murder, I say!! Lol. A few panels under the cut, so spoilers for a few scenes but not really plot stuff.

MURDER! A.k.a., fatal doses of polyshipper catnip XD )

Community Thursday

Jun. 12th, 2025 06:34 am
vriddy: Hawks waving and leaving (bye bye)
[personal profile] vriddy

Community Thursday challenge: every Thursday, try to make an effort to engage with a community on Dreamwidth, whether that's posting, commenting, promoting, etc.


Over the last week...

Chit-chat on [community profile] bnha_fans.

Signal boosts:

  • [community profile] worderlands' next event at the end of the month will be a daily 3-sentence flash fiction challenge. I know a few people in my circles enjoy that kind of event!

Google Is Lobotomizing Itself

Jun. 11th, 2025 10:16 pm
grayestofghosts: an enamel pin that reads "yikes" (yikes)
[personal profile] grayestofghosts
So, it looks like Google is lobotomizing itself -- it's replaced all of its internal development classes with AI-related courses. Which, on the surface may not seem like that huge of a deal if AI is the new hotness, except for it previously had over 500,000 listings that are now replaced with AI courses, and the previous courses that people had already been signed up for were cancelled in favor of pushing AI instead of even maintaining the stuff they have. So, if you think search is bad now, it's gonna get worse.

I'm going to use this news as an opportunity to push @Lori@hackers.town's essay The New Yahoo about how creating lists of links is more urgent than ever and only getting moreso. My personal site is mainly linklists and I've been thinking of trying to put together a dirt-easy HTML/CSS template to make your own linklist for people with basically zero web-building knowledge. I've also started experimenting with Linkslist.app which might be a more accessible alternative to gather and display links, at least until one would be able to put them on a real website. And, if all else fails, there's still even Pinterest and the like -- but not Pocket, because it's going down in July. Augh!!

WIR: The Everlasting (2)

Jun. 11th, 2025 07:25 pm
stepnix: Blue gear and sigil (theory)
[personal profile] stepnix
One of my weaknesses here is that it's going to be really hard for me to tell how much of the book is weird because it's trying to be Vampire, and how much is it because it's just a weird book. But I persevere.

Read more... )

Horizon Zero Dawn - black & white

Jun. 11th, 2025 09:08 pm
thispatternismine: (HZD - Balancing Aloy)
[personal profile] thispatternismine
Finally getting around to posting some of the many photos I took in this game.


if its in b&w it's automatically art )

[TWST] Pocky Time

Jun. 11th, 2025 07:59 am
haunted_cherries: A close up picture of dark red cherries (Default)
[personal profile] haunted_cherries
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
Characters/Pairing: Rem Van der Zee (OC), Theo Valentine (OC)
Rating: Gen
Prompt: #446 - Dessert for [community profile] 100words and Contact for [community profile] fandomocweekly
Summary: Despite his aloof, sometimes grumpy demeanor, Rem manages to surprise Theo every time.

Read more... )

🌙

Jun. 11th, 2025 06:36 pm
adore: An Edwardian gothic girl levitating in the woods (vetsdaughter)
[personal profile] adore
Moontime began today. I've got tea, pain relief cream, and some cloth pads as extra backup while I use period underwear.

My well-meaning friend, Sre, messaged me saying that she was sorry if this would bring up any negative feelings for me, but she knew mid-20th-century writers are my jam, and would help me shop for them when she was in my city. She attached a picture, and I didn't process it correctly at first, because it was a shelf full of Persephone Books. I assumed it was a picture from Persephone Books themselves, since they have a store full of shelves of just their books. I thought she was offering to buy one for me and bring it with her when she came here. I told her that she was sweet, and right about them being my jam, and also that after years of being unable to pick up a book without pain related to the bookstore that broke my heart, referred to on this journal as Spinebreaker, it was books like these–Virago green books that were out of print, and Persephone Books which are unavailable in my country, that helped me read again, specifically because I knew Spinebreaker would never be able to stock them. The owner had said that she was trying to bring Persephone Books to her store and wasn't able to get distribution here, and that was a few years ago.

Sre said she didn't know getting them here had been a challenge–and that's when I realise that the picture she had sent me was of Persephone Books stocked in Spinebreaker, and that's when I realise that she didn't know that I didn't clock it.

I've posted here before about moments when I was at risk of relapsing and didn't, and how far I've come and all that. Well... this particular moment is a struggle for me. I've been struggling with sorrow, suffocating waves of them, because... this is a bit like that moment when I visited Spinebreaker for the first time, saw Barbara Comyns on the shelves, and thought it must be A Sign because I had never seen her books here before. A whole shelf of just Persephone Books, in MY COUNTRY not to mention my city? It seems like a miracle. It was something I didn't think was realistic. Just like that whole damned bookstore, just like seeing Barbara Comyns stocked there, just like the chance to work there... it was just never realistic.

At the moment, I happen to be reading Amelia's Intrigue by Judith A. Lansdowne. It's sweet, gentle, cosy, funny and endearing. A perfect comfort reading. It's also out of print so Spinebreaker can never stock it, so there. I'm enjoying it.

When I was bringing myself back into reading I picked up books that would never be stocked at Spinebreaker, or so I thought. Books the owner couldn't get, books that were out of print, and books that were independently published or books she doesn't want to put on her shelves. I got to read some amazing indie books by friends on DW. I also bounced off quite a few books that are made for the indie market but not made for me, just not the sorts of books I enjoy.

The thing is, I imprinted so hard on Spinebreaker because of the books in it. I identified with it so hard because of how it's curated. This means that a book that is stocked there is highly likely to be a book I'll enjoy and a book that's not stocked there is not likely to be a book I'll enjoy. That sucks. But it is what it is.

I have to be okay reading books that are also stocked in Spinebreaker. I have to enjoy them without pausing for pain. I have to get to that point, and I guess I'm frustrated that I'm not there, that I've not healed completely so that there's no chance of feeling all that hurt all over again. It's also the kind of thing that very few of my friends IRL understand, because it just seems trivial to them, like they don't understand why it's been affecting me so much. So I'm glad I can journal about it here.

I'm touched that Sre thought of me when she saw the sorts of books I love, so I don't resent her bringing this up. I would have found out eventually. Because most people I know, including my closest friends, go there regularly and they have talked about the books they've gotten there without me feeling like this because those were books that were accessible otherwise as well, and available elsewhere. But I bet I would have heard about these at some point.

Sre said she could take me to Spinebreaker when she's in my city, if it would help me if she's there. I thanked her and told her I'd rather not go as I don't feel welcome there. I mean, the owner blocked me, lol. She said that instead she could go buy me a Persephone Book from there, but I really don't want to give Spinebreaker any money. Since all of the authors of Persephone Books are dead, I'll pirate them if I can't access them any other way. I love the publisher though and will buy their ebooks when possible; they don't publish most of their books as ebooks, which I think is a pity, but they do have a few in ebook format. I bought Diana Tutton's Guard Your Daughters that way, and of course they've made Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day by Winifred Watson available as an ebook, since it's their star title.

if stallman was freud

Jun. 11th, 2025 09:26 am
kradeelav: Dr. Kiriko (amused)
[personal profile] kradeelav
one of the very few reoccurring nightmares i have is my poor baby linux computer getting infected with an old school virus that forces it to turn into a windows OS. dramatic changes to the user interface and all while i look on helplessly and try to shut the power off.

like it's not the 'oh shit somebody's controlling my computer' bit that gets me tweaked, like how you'd think.

it's the fuckin. forcewindow'ed??? into windows thing???

?????????????????

me @ my subconscious: jesus christ you are a nerd lol (also an amazing M$ hater)



selenicseas: (Default)
[personal profile] selenicseas
This is a fairly short novel (around 60,000 words, I believe) and took me around two weeks to finish, reading 1-3 chapters per day. It's pretty easy to read, except for the parts that are deliberately designed to be confusing. I'm not sure I fully grasped exactly which events were caused by Babel-17 and which weren't.

While I do like that the reader is largely dropped into the world with minimal explanation, I do wish there had been a bit more focus on things like the Transport culture and the discorporate people. The novel introduces a bunch of interesting things, but it's too short to really explore anything other than Babel-17 in depth.

Recent reading

Jun. 11th, 2025 01:53 am
egret: egret in Harlem Meer (Default)
[personal profile] egret
A Spoonful of Murder by J. M. Hall - A delightful cozy mystery about a group of retired school teachers in England who meet for coffee once a week and solve murders. In this one they are told that their also retired former principal died from an unfortunate dementia-related medication mistake, but they have their doubts! This is the first one in the series and I look forward to more. 

The Quest for Annie Moore by Megan Smolenyak - Smolenyak is a celebrity in genealogy-world. Her latest is a deep dive into the story of the first immigrant to land at Ellis Island. Smolenyak looked into the records supporting the life story of Annie Moore and discovered gaps and misidentifications. This book is the story of her years of extensive research to correctly identify this impoverished Irish immigrant and trace her life. (Spoiler: Moore spent the rest of her life on the Lower East Side in NYC.) I read it for the Virtual Genealogy Society online book club and I really enjoyed it. I think anyone interested in immigrant genealogy would enjoy it. But it really is about the adventure and thrill of tracking down elusive records, especially since much of the research was done before so much was digitized. So maybe not for the general reader. But the book club discussion was very lively and threatened to run over the time! 

Dead Man's Grave by Neil Lancaster - First volume in a police procedural series set in Scotland. It started out really great with a blood-feud-based murder but sort of trailed off into gangster-related corruption in the police force. I don't know that I will continue with the series because I found the Scots accent very hard to follow in the audiobook. This is a personal failing -- I always find Scots accents hard to follow. I suppose I could read with my eyes but I don't care that much about police and their supposed nobility. 

Lies Bleeding by Ben Aaronovitch - This is the 6th Rivers of London book. I do really love these but might take a little break because spoiler )

Currently reading: Herland by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. I want to like it but it's uphill. Maybe it will pick up. I wish I had not started reading her autiobiography and learned what a rightwing eugenicist she was because now I am biased against her. (Reading it as part of my Feminist Science Fiction open source anthology project.)
alterkrmn: Nozue from the manga Old Fashion Cupcake. His expression shows confusion. (Default)
[personal profile] alterkrmn
Ok. I’m back to talk about the other shows I watched last week.

There’s not much left until Break Up Service ends, and I still haven’t seen this week’s episode. I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t bored me a little, but I think I’m still invested enough to want to know how the story wraps up. At first, I was only annoyed by the concept of the fictional company Break Up Service, but now, with how things have unfolded in the last few episodes, even the rival company, Destiny, seems pretty questionable, lol. But something I liked in the last episode was that the girl Junior’s character wanted to win back ended up being honest about their relationship and breaking things off. If anything, the series has made me think a lot about romantic relationships and all the mental and emotional effort they require (no wonder I’m single, oops… not that I’m looking for a relationship or anything).

My Stubborn has me hooked. First of all, I’m really enjoying watching Sorn (the walking red flag) paint himself into a corner, because at some point (probably next episode… let it be in the next episode, please, please), he’s gonna have to admit his feelings for Jun (Juin? Jwin?? I don’t even know the right way to romanize his name anymore). I don’t think Sorn’s intention is to hurt him, but he did… And I’m looking forward to seeing Sorn suffer when he realizes he messed up with what he said… and I hope he cries. But that’s just a personal preference. I love watching pretty men cry. On the other hand, I’m surprised by the commitment to high heat… so far, we’ve gotten steamy scenes in every episode. Though I don’t have much to compare it to, since I think this is the Thai BL with the most NC scenes I’ve seen so far. I wonder which others are similar in that regard. Only four more episodes left.

Boys in Love is such a nice Sunday watch, and I’m really enjoying it. I don’t know, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I see a lot of my own 15-year-old son’s behavior reflected in how the characters act. Teenagers are, by default, pretty annoying, but that’s normal. Their hormones are a mess, they’re learning to be themselves, they’re adapting to a world where their own role is pretty confusing. I like watching Shane and his inner conflicts, even though it breaks my heart to see him so lost in so many ways. Thankfully, Kit is a boy with a lot of emotional intelligence and always gives him space to work through things, even if he gets conflicted himself. It’d be so nice if most adults were that sensible, lol. Then there’s Mon and his need for acceptance, which also tugs at my heartstrings. Tar annoyed the hell out of me and I was a bit angry at what he did to Per, but in the end they talked about it and they made up. And the teachers… gods, I’m living for the crumbs they’re giving us. But I love their relationship and I want more, give me more… give Podd and Papang their own series!

And last but not least, The Ex-Morning! Only three episodes in, and I’m already hooked. There were some reveals about how certain events happened in Tam and Phi’s relationship, but we still don’t know why they happened that way. What I’m enjoying is the tension between them… even though they’re exes, it’s obvious there are still feelings there. Another thing I really like is how the past scenes are woven into the present; the transitions are well done and don’t feel forced. And on top of all that, Singto… very aesthetically pleasing to look at. Krist is handsome too, but personally, I like Singto more.

Aside from the shows already on my official list, I watched the first episode of Sweetheart Service and thought it was okay. I want to keep watching, but I don’t want to commit to new series because I’ve had really busy days lately and end up exhausted. I also joined a watch party to rewatch Secret Relationships, and that show is still a delightfully toxic, melodramatic mess… so much fun to watch. And rewatching it makes me want to read AUs where the four main characters form an evil polycule, lol.

Anyway, last week I didn’t watch Leap Day, and I didn’t really miss it… I’m not sure if I’ll watch it this week or just wait until the series ends to binge the remaining episodes. I’ll have to think about it because this week and next week are also packed. Sigh.

And that’s it for now.
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